Everything My Daughter Needs To Know She Can Learn From A Disney Princess - Mulan

Mulan is the "warrior princess." She is the one typically seen as strong and willing to fight for what she believes in and not "waiting to be rescued." When I read Peggy Ornstein's book she even talked about how miserable Mulan was in the matchmaker dress and how upsetting it is that the only place you can meet her (Epcot in China) she is wearing that, since that isn't who she wants to be at all. The funny thing about all of that is as far as I can tell people don't understand Mulan at all. Mulan doesn't fit in. She doesn't seem to be excelling at the life she has. She is smart and yet in her world she has no real outlet for that. She is expected to be quiet (in public - her parents don't seem to treat her that way), refined and to make a good match to bring honor to her family. When she is getting dressed and ready to meet the matchmaker I did not see her as unhappy that she was doing this but nervous that she would be unsuccessful. She seems to feel that she is not good at anything. When her father is called to war, more than anything she seems to feel that just in being a girl she has failed her father again - why can't she at least be a boy who could keep him from dying?

So, what can my daughter learn from Mulan? Well, first and foremost my daughter can learn that fitting in is not always the most important thing. In the end Mulan saves all of China because she finds something that she is good at and she excels at it. She is good at being a warrior. She is smart and she uses her brain to outthink the opponents. She sees the opportunity in the mountain to cause the avalanche that takes out almost all of the Huns. She fools them by getting the other soldiers to be concubines and then she takes out Shan Yu by using some physics to calculate where that firework will take him out. The emperor says it best: "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."

My daughter can learn that no matter what problem is presented to her there is always a solution that can be worked out if she thinks about it long enough. When the soldiers are faced with retrieving the arrow none of them can do it. Including Mulan. When Mulan is faced with being sent home because she is not strong enough to be in the army she spends the entire night trying to figure out how to climb that pole. In the end she does. Not because she is strong but because she is smart. She finally figures out how to hold those weights so that they help her, not hinder her, as she climbs the pole. My daughter can learn to keep trying to puzzle out the answer to any problem - no matter how big it seems. 

My daughter can also that she has worth just by being herself. When Mulan comes home she hands her father the emperor's crest telling him it is to "bring honor to the family." He tells her that "the greatest privilege and honor is having you for a daughter." As a parent I want my daughter to know that I am always proud of her. She does not have to fit into some random mold that someone else has decided would make her the "perfect daughter." She just has to be herself and try her best. I will always be proud of who she is. 

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Everything My Daughter Needs To Know She Can Learn From A DisneyPrincess - Pocahontas

Pocahontas is a girl who seems to have raised herself as much as she was raised by her father who had an entire tribe of people to take care of. Her greatest confidant is Grandmother Willow - the talking tree. She has one close friend and she has her animal friends (as all Disney princesses do). She seems to have reached the age where she is ready for life to begin and yet she cannot seem to figure out where her life is headed. She loves her father very much, she loves her tribe and her home and yet she is restless. She has dreams, similar to Belle, of somthing more than what she already knows. She wants to see things, do things, go places, learn new things. When Pocahontas meets John Smith she realizes that her dreams are real. That there is plenty to learn. Most importantly she learns that being true to who you are will always take you down the path that you belong on.

So, what can my daughter learn from Pocahontas? First and foremost my daughter can learn a genuine love and respect for the earth. Reduce, reuse, recycle gets crammed down our kids throats these days with a quick "we have to take care of the earth" message. However, very few people take the time to truly look at, notice and admire the beauty in the rock all around them. Pocahontas says, "I know that every rock, and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name.' My daughter can learn to know the life, spirit and name of everything around her from Pocahontas. She can learn to take the time to hear all the voices of the mountain and to paint with all the colors of the wind. She can learn the importance of just noticing that all of those things are there. 

My daughter can learn that you should always stand up for what you believe in. Pocahontas stops a war from taking place between her people and the settlers. She runs in front of her father and demands that he not kill John Smith. She makes everyone there think about what they are doing. She makes them realize that they have no reason to fight each other. This is a very brave thing to do. It is not easy to stand up for what you believe. It is not easy to tell the world that they are wrong. Especially when the people you have to stand up to are people that you care deeply for and look up to. It is generally easier to sit by silently and let things happen. No one will be upset with you if you allow those in charge to make decisions. But the world need people willing to speak up for injustice. My daughter can learn to be someone who will always speak up when she sees something wrong happening. 

She can also learn the lesson that love does not always take us where we thought it would, or even where we want it to. Pocahontas loves John Smith. She intends to marry him. However, his wound requires him to return to England. She has a duty to her people. She is the daughter of the Chief and she is needed there. I remember when I first saw that movie I was so annoyed that it ended with John Smith leaving and her staying. It is a fairy tale for goodness sake, why shouldn't it have a happy ending? But now that I am an adult and I have daughters I like the lesson that sometimes we have to think about more than our immediate impulse. Sometimes you can't just run onto the boat and say forget about everything else. Sometimes you have to consider the rest of your life and what your actions will mean - for yourself and for those around you. 

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Everything My Daughter Needs To Know She Can Learn From A Disney Princess - Jasmine

Jasmine is one of the princesses that has actually lived a princess life. Unlike many of the princesses who came before her she has not been mistreated or hidden away. She has lived her whole life in a castle, catered to and had everything done for her. She tells Aladdin she feels trapped by this. At the same time her father has obviously encouraged her to think for herself and speak her mind. She respects him and wants to do what he wants - up to a point. She stands for what she believes is right and is not afraid to step out of her comfort zone to get the job done.                                                                                                               So what can my daughter learn from Jasmine? Well, right off the bat the line, "I am not a prize to be won," comes to mind. Jasmine is ordered by law to marry before her next birthday - in three days. Yet, she repeatedly turns down suitor after suitor because she is not going to marry someone she does not love and who will not treat her well. As a mom of two little girls this may be the number one lesson for them to learn in love. Jasmine shows my girls that love cannot be forced, that love comes in unexpected places and it must come with respect or it is useless. Jasmine forgives Aladdin for lying to her about being a "real" prince because she understands why he did it. She has already fallen in love with him and while he deceived her she knows that he was trying to live up to the law's requirements. This is another big lesson in love. One I feel like people skip over too often. The people we love, who love us, are going to mess up. They are going to make mistakes. Sometimes they are going to make mistakes for selfish reasons and sometimes they are going to mess up because they are trying to make us happy. Forgiveness is a wonderful quality - as is understanding. 

Jasmine also teaches my daughter to never be afraid of a new experience. Jasmine, fed up with the law and her father's feeling that she should marry, decides to leave. She is not going to let anyone tell her what she has to do. Even though she has no experience with life outside the castle she decides to go and she does. She is not afraid of what she will find nor is she afraid of the challenges she will surely discover. Once she and Aladdin are discovered she immediately tries to fight the guards - regardless of their size. When that does not work she throws caution to the side and reveals herself to the guards. She stands up to the guards and then to Jafar. She will not be silenced. She will not stand by and let injustice occur. 

My daughter can learn to always look beyond what you see when it comes to the people around you. Jasmine sees Aladdin's worth even though he is a "street rat" and not a prince. This is a common theme in books and things. To see a person's inner beauty or worth. But more importantly Jasmine also teaches my daughter to trust her own instincts about a person - even if her father or I like the person. Jasmine does not like Jafar, she does not trust him . Her father considers Jafar his "most trusted advisor" but this does not sway Jasmine. She knows there is something not right about Jafar and she keeps her distance - and intends to be rid of him when she is the queen. This is an important lesson for children. We all used to be taught "stranger danger" but the advice now is to teach your children about "tricky people" because they are much more likely to be hurt by someone they know and their parents trust. Jasmine is a great example of having instincts about someone that her parent trusts and being correct. If her father had listened when she expressed her concerns about Jafar maybe they would have been saved a lot of difficulty. Jasmine teaches my daughter to trust her instincts. 

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Everything My Daughter Needs To Know She Can Learn From A Disney Princess - Belle

Belle is a somewhat lonely girl who lives in a village where she doesn't seem to fit in. She and her father are close. She has no mother (they never mention her mother) They are new to town. She does things differently than everyone else in town. We all know she likes to read - that is the thing people say about Belle - even though everyone else in her town does not (I can't quite figure out how the book shop manages to stay open since everyone seems to find reading so odd). Belle longs for a different life. A life of adventure and mystery. She wants more than a "provincial life." When life starts to take Belle in an extremely unexpected way she rolls with it. She follows the path set in front of her and with bravery and strength takes on a new roll. Once in the Beast's castle she is no wimpy prisoner. She may have promised to stay there but she did not promise to be nice! She refuses to eat or talk to the Beast. She is completely comfortable telling him when is wrong. She shows him better ways to act, to treat people and to feel. In the end she changes him. 

So, what can my daughter learn from Belle? They can learn that love is strong. Love will posses you to do crazy and selfless things. When Belle sees her father locked in that dungeon she knows that he will die there. She cannot bear to allow that and she takes his place. Her love for her father is so strong that what matters to her the most is that he be safe. Later in the movie she once again sees her father in trouble and rushes to save him. By then she is in love with the Beast and has what she wants in living in his castle with him. She does not want to leave. Yet, when her father is in trouble she does not think twice. She loves her father and he needs her she is on her way. 

Belle can teach my daughter to never allow someone to mistreat you. Most of the time what I hear is that little girls need to know that most of the time a beast does not turn into a prince. That girls need to know that the man won't change. There is truth in that. If someone treats you badly you should not allow it. But people are usually worth a second chance. If someone treats you badly you should tell them where they can go with their nastiness but if they say they are sorry you should accept it. Belle can teach my daughter to graciously accept an apology and allow the person who has made the mistake a chance to do better the next time. 

My daughter can learn that you should never give up. Time and time again Belle is faced with incredible challenges and she never gives up. The truth is a lot of women would give up and marry Gaston. He is a little (okay A LOT) full of himself but he is the most popular man in town, good looking, he seems to make a good income and he loves (or thinks he does) Belle. Plenty of women would settle for that but not Belle. She tells him no way, no how. She finds her father at the Beast's castle, she finds him again in the woods, she fights the townspeople, breaks out of her cellar and continues to chase down Gaston to stop him from hurting the Beast. At any point along the way a lesser woman would have given up. 

Belle can teach my daughter to fight for what you want in life. No matter who you are, where you come from, or what you want you can do, go and be anything. My daughter can learn to keep going and to believe in yourself. To believe you can and you will. Belle can teach my daughter to never settle for less.

                                                   

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Everything My Daughter Needs To Know She Can Learn From A Disney Princess - Ariel

Ariel is an independent, inquisitive, slightly impetious teenager with firm grip on what she wants. Her mother was killed by humans when Ariel was very young. She has since been raised by a very strict father who tries very hard to keep his daughters sheltered from the outside world. Ariel has a strong curiosity and desire for knowledge of more of the world than what surrounds her. She explores, she asks questions, she accepts help - sometimes a good thing and sometimes not - she takes opportunity when and where she can. Ariel leaves home to find her heart's deepest desire and have the opportunity to explore the world she has been dreaming of her whole life. Along the way she finds love, makes new friends, learns new things and finds everything she is looking for. 

Honestly, when thinking about Ariel my first thought was that she is a stubborn, headstrong teenager who ran away from home and her father REWARDED her!!!! She is FIFTEEN!!!! She is still a baby! Too young to be married. What is this craziness? But as I was talking about her with Mike I realized that actually she has plenty to teach. To start with she is a good reminder to parents that teenagers do know what they are talking about sometimes - really all of our kids do. They deserve to be listened to. Which also means she can teach my daughter about the value of standing your ground. While I don't think she should run off and have some kind of major plastic surgery done by a back alley doctor who will take her voice as payment my daughter can learn to make sure that I always hear her. She can learn from Ariel that no matter what I, or her father, think we know about the situation we do not know everything without knowing what she has to say. 

Ariel also teaches a good lesson about wanting to learn about the world. Ariel is fascinated by the things she finds from the "human world." She collects them, she studies them, she asks questions (although, she may want to find a better source than Skuttle - after all I rarely use my dinglehopper to comb my hair). My daughter can learn the importance of learning about other cultures, other lands, other worlds. Whether it is learning about another country, or another planet my daughter can see Ariel of an example that you just never know what wonders you are going to find if you keep looking. If Ariel were human she would have been an archeologist exploring the dirt for remnants of long lost civilization as opposed to swimming through sunken ships. That's one heck of an endorsement for scienc. 

My daughter can also learn not to judge someone by what they look like or where they come from. Triton does not like Eric simply because he is human. Triton rejects all humans and does not want his daughter to be anywhere near them. In all fairness humans killed his wife and whenever humans are in the water they pose a threat to the fish and the merfolks. However, if we put that in human terms it becomes a lesson. If you lived in an area with a gang of (insert any race that is different than our own) who had killed your wife and the gang was generally trouble it might make sense for you to be cautious of someone else of that race. However, we would praise anyone who was able to see beyond their experiences and get to know an individual before judging them. Someone who was able to see that a person's race does not make them bad. Ariel does that. Ariel can teach my daughter the value in getting to know someone and not judging them based on any experience you had with someone else - similar or not similar to that person. 

So, in the end. I suppose Ariel has plenty to teach. If I look past the teenager that she is and look at the ideals and the courage and the strength that she has I find that, once again, a Disney princess has taught my daughter many valuable lessons. Ariel is also the only princess that is a mom. In The Little Mermaid II Ariel and Eric have a daughter, Melody. They are the only ones that we get to see grown and with a child. That is also a wonderful lesson. Marriage, family, children, love are all wonderful things to aspire too.  Although, I'm not allowing my daughter to get married at fifteen. :) 

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Everything My Daughter Needs To Know She Can Learn From A DisneyPrincess - Aurora

Aurora may be the most "normal" out of all the princesses. In reality she is a princess and has been her whole life but she has not lived as a princess. As a matter of fact she does not even know she is a princess. She is just a normal girl living with her three "aunts" who have raised her since birth. We don't really know what she thinks happened to her parents but she seems happy enough. Her aunts are good to her. They love her and she loves them. She meets a boy in the woods and invites him to meet her aunts. Then her life goes all crazytown when she finds out she is a princess and has to go to the palace for a big welcome home ball. She goes with her aunts as opposed to running away to be with the boy (like a certain other impetuous teenage princess that we will get to next time). Once in the castle she is enchanted by Maleficent into pricking her finger. Being in the castle with her "aunts" (the fairies) right there allows them to find her. Had she been off in the woods with her prince the fairies might not have found her in time to save her. Once she is asleep she, obviously, needs rescuing. In fairy tale style and magic the boy she met in the woods is the prince her parents have already betrothed her to and the only one who can break the spell. Ah!! Gotta love that happily ever after. 

So, what can my daughter learn from Aurora? Well, she can learn the importance of listening to your parents. The aunts are, for all intents and purposes, Aurora's parents. They raise her and teach her right from wrong. They set the rules for her. When they say do not talk to strangers she basically does not. She talks to the animals in the forest and is already dancing and singing with the strange boy (who really I would have been scared to death of - not only is he touching me but he KNOWS MY SONG). before she knows he is there. She likes him but remembering the rules she leaves. She invites him to her house to meet her aunts. She hopes they will approve of him. When they say she cannot see him again she listens. She is sad but she listens. Aurora is 16 and at that age most kids think they know all the answers for themselves and while they do have to learn by making mistakes they also need to take into account the things their older, and hopefully, wiser parents tell them. Aurora is a good reminder that listening to your parents is good for you. My daughter can learn that even when she thinks I am not on her side I am still taking care of her. My daughter can learn that a parent's love is strong enough and big enough to take on any monster. 

My daughter can also learn a big lesson about a parent's true, deep love. Aurora's biological parents love her very much. Unfortunately, their home has become unsafe for her. With very heavy hearts and with a lot of sadness and many tears they hand her over to other "parents" to raise her. Aurora's story teaches about the love of birth parents. Aurora's mother and father NEVER stop loving her. They never stop missing her and they always look forward to the time that they can be together again. My daughters are not adopted but my son is and this story sets a tone. It shows that raising a child is not the only way to love them. It is an important thing to understand. Probably more so for the general population than for anyone personally connected to adoption. Those in the adoption community tend to already understand this where as the general public often does not. Understanding this love and remembering how difficult it is so important. People rarely talk about birth parents at all - and more often than not if people do discuss birth parents they talk about them in a negative tone. But trust a Disney princess to teach the lesson that a birth parent's decision to hand their child to someone else is made out of love and a desire for this child to have the best life possible. 

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Everything My Daughter Needs To Know She Can Learn From A Disney Princess - Cinderella

Cinderella is a girl who has lived through quite a bit of tragedy when you think about it. First her mother died. Then her father married a horrid woman with mean daughters. Then the father died leaving her in the care of this horrid woman and her daughters who treat Cinderella like a slave (maid if I were inclined to be nice but I think slave fits better). Cinderella lived in a time when young women did not move out until they married. In fact I think it was rather odd to find a home like Cinderella's where a woman lived alone only with daughters - no men I mean. That's the way things were then. Cinderella cooks and cleans and waits on her step-mother and step-sisters night and day and yet she has a sunny and warm personality. She has been in indentured servitude for as long as she can remember and yet she still dreams. She apparently knows how to sew. She has the kindness and poise to attract and KEEP the attention of the prince. She has the courage and survival skills to get herself (with a little help from her mice friends) out of that attic and demand her turn to try on the glass slipper. She has the brains to carry the one remaining slipper with her so that she can pull it out when she needs it. 

So what can my daughter learn from Cinderella? She can learn the importance of persevering. Most children who have lived through as much tragedy as Cinderella would not handle it as well as she does. It would not matter what her step-mother did in a lot of cases children who have lived through that kind of tragedy are anything but kind and hopeful and warm spirited. They are angry - and who can blame them? Yet, Cinderella shows our daughters that life is worth living. That no matter how much bad has come your way if you look for it there is always good around you. You can always find some good in your day - something to smile about and someone to love - even if it is a chubby little mouse.  Sort of the perfect example of when life hands you lemons make lemonade. 

My daughter can learn that dreaming is powerful. That no matter what your life looks today if you watch for it there will always be something good coming in the not too distant future. As a matter of fact there is always good things in your life right now. It can be hard to see the good in life when things are difficult but it really is a wonderful quality to have. Cinderella teaches my daughter that quality. She teaches my daughter the importance of seeing the good. Cinderella can teach my daughter to have hope. The Fairy Godmother tells Cinderella that if she had no hope left she would not be able to be there. Hope, like dreaming and seeing the good, is very powerful. Hope and faith can be what keeps a person going. Hope and faith do not mean you do not work hard they simply mean you put all of your positive energy into something (a lesson Tiana learns but we will get to her later). 

Cinderella can teach my daughter the handiness of skills like sewing. It is barely addressed in the movie but Cinderella is really quite the seamstress. She has big plans for her mother's dress (admittedly those plans are carried out by some pretty amazing mice but the fact that Cinderella knows just what to do is impressive enough). She does some work, although we don't see exactly how much, on her step-sisters dresses. Sewing and other skills of that nature seem to be forgotten these days but whether you sew clothing (like I do) or simply repair things here and there sewing is actually a handy skill to have - and one that many people do not have. 

Cinderella can teach my daughter the importance of being kind to others. Sure, it may have been her pretty face and her well put together outfit that made the prince notice Cinderella in the first place but there is no way she was the only pretty girl at that ball. Cinderella had to be nice and kind and engaging for the prince to want to continue to dance with her. She must have been more than a pretty face for him to refuse to marry anyone but her. 

Lastly Cinderella can teach my daughter the importance of keeping your wits about you and managing in a crisis. Cinderella is locked in that attic and her chance at a better life is about to whisk itself out her front door and completely out of her reach. It would be easy to panic or simply give up. Cinderella looks to her friends for help and comes racing down the stairs just in time to try on that glass slipper. Her step-mother who, clearly, has no intention of allowing Cinderella to better herself, trips the royal footman and breaks the glass slipper. In the movie it seems like a crazy coincidence that she has the other one in her pocket but the truth is it is wise. Cinderella has just learned exactly how ruthless and horrid her step-mother is (remember Cinderella ASKED to go to the ball. Until this incident she had no knowledge that her step-mother intended to keep her locked up and serving for the rest of her life). She is smart enough to not take any chances. She keeps that slipper hidden until it is needed. Cinderella can teach my daughter to allows think about what you might need and be sure to have it where you can get it. 

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Everything My Daughter Needs To Know She Can Learn From A Disney Princess - Snow White

When it comes to princesses there seem to be two very distinct camps. There is the camp, like me, that loves all the princesses and pretty much everything about them. We decorate our kids' rooms, we buy their baby blankets with princesses and buy the absolutely adorable teeny tiny princess costumes for our little girls' first Halloween. Then there is the other camp who seems to think there is something innately harmful about the princesses. They write books, blogs, and pin images that put down the princesses. I have to decided to write a series about all the good things girls can learn from Disney princesses. I am starting at the beginning with Snow White and will work my forward by release date. 

At the beginning of the movie Snow White is dressed as a "scullery maid" and is forced to do chores. She is certainly not treated like a princess. Her station by birthright is princess but her wicked, yet beautiful, step-mother makes sure that she is not treated as such. She wears rags, she is most likely dirty, and she is certainly never pampered or well put together. Yet, when the queen asks the mirror "who is the fairest of them all?" the mirror answers, "Snow White." She is beautiful and "fair" beyond her appearance. Her sweet and kind voice attract a passing prince as he rides by on his horse.  Her sweetness convinces the huntsman to spare her life, even though he will lost likely be killed for it. Her kind and gentle nature allows her to befriend the animals of the forest and then the dwarves. She sees the best in everyone - from the unfriendly demeanor of Grumpy to the unwelcoming look of the old hag. Yes, she makes a mistake and trusts the wrong person and then needs "rescuing" by love's first kiss but we all need a little help now and then. 

So, what can my daughter learn from Snow White? She can learn that no matter what you look like, what you wear, or what your job is your inner beauty will always shine through. To always allow the room for inner beauty in others. That just because someone is doing the job of a "scullery maid" (read as any job someone might look down on) they might just be a "princess" (read as totally amazing person worth knowing) on the inside. 

My daughter can learn the value of being kind and gentle and good to everyone she meets. That you never know who's heart you touch just by being kind. You never know what "grumpy" soul you can open up and make smile when you are kind. My daughter can learn that when you treat others with kindness and a good heart they treat you the same way. 

My daughter can learn that their is value in a job well done. That cleaning and cooking are jobs worth valuing. That taking care of others is a job of high value (remember the dwarves agree to let her stay so she can take care of them and their house). That is not a lesser than job. Whether it is a mother (or father) who stays home with her children or a daycare worker they are all doing a very worthy job. One that anyone can and should be proud to do and do well. 

My daughter can learn that trust is an important gift. That giving your trust to someone is valuable. She can learn that sometimes you might give you're trust to an untrustworthy person but when you are hurt your friends will be there. They will stand by your side and hold your hand even when it seems that all is lost. My daughter can learn that trusting others usually pays off. 

Lastly, my daughter can learn the value of not giving away her affections too easily. In order for that kiss to wake Snow White up it had to be love's FIRST kiss. Had Snow White gone around kissing all too many men she might not have experienced the true power of love's first kiss. My daughter can learn to wait. To let love grow before she rushes into her prince's arms (and more). Remember Snow White met her prince at the beginning of the movie she could have kissed him then and all would have been lost. 

All in all my daughter(s) can learn many lessons from Snow White. It is all in the perspective that you have about the princesses and about the way you present the story. My daughters love everything about princesses and I am a Disney lover through and through. I will teach my daughters to see strength, beauty, courage, kindness, love, and more in the princesses. 

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